aquasoul's Xanga

MOVED!!!

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 15:50:14 GMT

hmmmmmmmmmm... i was thinking of moving my blogs and all completely to blogspot... but then.. i already have a small network here.. i guess i'll continue on here on MULTIPLY.. but as for my frenster and xanga.. i'm closing them down..

anyways.. my blogspot is ericcky.blogspot.com

Church!~

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 17:24:08 GMT

I am a Roman Catholic since I first took my 1st breath of Earth's air... My mother in her young age was a buddhist.. and as if God was calling for her.. she felt at ease in a church.. tat is how she started to be a RC... my dad was the same like me.. born RC.. and tat is how i am one..

I cannot say tat i'm a HOLY man... i dun actively involve myself in alot of youth activities like my other friends do... i dun really study the bible unless i have something to look up o i am trying to find some info on how i could get around the laws barring me from doing sinister acts.. u can say i am an old fashion RC... the one tat goes to church every weekends, and say his rosaries... other than tat.. hmm.. i guess not...

Anyhow... church was a play ground when i was below 12... i had a bunch of frens when it comes to mass time on saturday evenings... wat else can a bunch of kids do during church.. we PLAY!!! run around... tease the girl's group (i was a chubby kid.. dun u guys have any impression tat some1 in the girl's group has any crush for me).. jus plain wasting our time until our parents and brothers come out of chruch... If my frens were not around.. i always ask a pen from mum and start drawing craps on a piece of paper.. tat is how my time was spent in church..

but when age came to me.. a invisible consciousness too dawn upon me... from the age of 12 and above.. i stop goin outside... i went to sunday school to get confirmed so tat i can receive the body of Christ.. as if some how my mind and soul has been programmed to act so when the age came.. i did not question this act.. but simply enjoy it...

I enjoy the singing the most in church... makes me calm and confident... and yes... undeniablely.. sometimes the priest explains things, i will be yawning.. but most of the time i reflect on myself in church... reflect on what i've been doing.. wat i've done... what i shud do etc etc.. and whenever mass ended.. i feel... feather light.. as if burdens where lifted and i was again ready to face the world for another week.. the church is really a nice place for me... a place tat takes away all my stress... a place when u seriously needed guidance.. will show it to u..

I know alot of free thinkers who say the dun believe in all this religious thing... they say y believe in something we werent sure is there ... might as well put all ur strength in believing urself.. well... i mus say it is very well said... but y dun we look at it tis way.. we can still put all our strength in believing ourselves, yet put Trust in Him..because God wun help those who only pray and do nothing about the current situation... we need to show our labour.. our hardship..but when we start to doubt ourselves.. having a religion to support u is actually quite good.. i'm not here to convert any1... jus a piece of advice.. hahah...

"Happy Are Those Who Believe, Yet Not See" such strong words... which angle do u interpret this word from?? heheheh... cheers~

a man who sees his own footsteps

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:13:04 GMT

When does a man sees his own footsteps... its when he turns his head... and look back... looking back at the roads he took... tracing the way he came... but a man of such quality is usually a man who clearly doesnt like to look ahead... doesnt like the challenges tat lies ahead... instead.. he loves the warmth of things of the past.. where he can hide in the comfort of things he knew.. he did... but a man who looks back too often also is a man who holds a heavy feeling for guilt of things he has done.. even though it might be just a small sin to others.. a man who looks back too often, only reminiscences the times that are gone... the people who have changed with time... the life past... A man who looks to the past too often... for me.. is a weak man... a man who cowls in the safety of the past.. for he knows.. the past no matter how regretful things he did... no matter how much he felt guilt is eating him up... he still finds comfort on things tat have been... for those things tat will be or may be, he is afraid to face it.. afraid of new things... afraid of the wind blowing directly on to his face... for he fears... he might do even more mistakes... even more sins.. he is afraid... he might fail in challenges.. fail the people who put trust in his ability... a man who looks back .. is a man who stops at his steps... and let every one pass him while he thinks back the good and bad moments tat was... that is wat a man who looks back too often to me is...

Today... my friend was able to pass me a few MP3s which was from 1983-2006 Hong Kong's Top Ten Best Gold Songs (its translated from cantonese... "Sap Tai Keng Gor Kam Kok"). as i blogged before.. my older brother loved the 80's and early 90's, Hong Kong Pop musics.. i was, in a very early age, exposed to such beautiful songs... and today.. my friend manage to pass to me... such a collection.. i was only interested in the 80's and 90's for i know more of those songs.. than the songs of my time..

As i played those songs in this cold and rainy night, it reminded me of alot of things... i have forgotten of... alot of things from my youngling years... the feelings.. the pictures of the past.. as if time was kind enough to rewind itself to the moments when these very same songs flew in my ears and echoed in my head.. it made me... felt young again.. very young.. i can still remember my mother's face.. wrinkle-less... my dad's face full of energy... my brothers' still young and worry-less faces.. my late granma.. smiling.. sitting at the living room.. looking out at the sweet jambu tree and orchids... it was as if time had dragged me to the past.. putting everything still... for me.. to look at it again... at times past...

I know one shud not look so far back.. and enjoy them.. it is already making me feel heavy... as if time has taken more than jus 23 yrs from me... tat is what looking back will do to one.. the feeling of suffocation.. not by the lack of air.. but the heaviness in one's heart.. when it comes to how helpless we are being drifted in the flow of time... a gushing river.. where we are constantly being swept forward... never stopping...

Now do u see how dangerous it is to stop ur steps.. and turn to look back... it weakens the soul and mind... yet.... i am a man who loves to reminiscene... a man who easily recalls the past to my mind... altho i noe how deadly it is to summon forth such memories.. but..i guess.. i'm a nostalgic man... anything from the past tat can link me back... WILL take me back.. it takes a great will from me to stop thinking... which is what i will do now... unplug the earphones.. stop the musics.. and let the mirage of the past be where it shud be again... beneath the stacks of memory time has given...

Good Night... Sweetdreams to the man who sees his own footsteps...

(this blog only mirrors my current feeling, tml it will be different again, tml... i will be fine.. :) )

MalAYSIA BOLEH!!

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 08:27:03 GMT

We are celebrating our 50th independence...and our football team just gave us a very Malaysian gift, MALAYSIA BOLEH. I've always believe in the phrase "Malaysia BOLEH" (Malaysia CAN).. We can have one of the tallest buildings... we can have some record smashing events... we can even have a trashing of 5-1 in football by CHINA...how cool is that... and best of all, MALAYSIA BOLEH.. is tat our officials can blame anything AND (notice its not OR) anyone when they lose in such an embarrassing match.

They blame CHINA has better physical.. and the Mlysian players were nervous to see this.... wat lame reason is tat... its not like mlysia dun have chinese, its not like the national team doesnt have chinese players... ok.. mayb our chinee might be a lil smaller in size.. so?? does china have 7 foot tall 7 foot wide players?? no... they might be wat... 10-15 cm taller (jus one o 2) the rest i see is ok ok.. normal sized mlysian... ok.. if the coach meant by stamina and strength... we allocated 12 million a yr to FAM to train.. to giv enuf food.. etc.. to our players... so where is the money I PAY (i'm a tax payer d).. where are the RESULTS!!!!!! i have an assumption, MALAYSIA BOLEH, is that they every so frequently have meetings and order curry puffs till 12 million left a few 100k to train players and etc... BUT wait... they do send the players to overseas and train.. frenly matches and all.. so wat gives??? i still say they have meetings and eat curry puffs, drink, MALAYSIA BOLEH, teh tarik (special tea) during training time in overseas.

then the coaches also blame the supporters for not coming in THRONGs... hmmmm... i rememebr Malaysian SUPPORTERS show up in force during last years TIGER cup against indon.. we were winning.. till indon scored a few goals (but still we were leading) then the mlysian players, MALAYSIA BOLEH, thru their PROFESSIONAL training... gave up.. some jus wlaked around asking to be substituted.. all de-spirited,which led to indon scoring a few more goals and win... SO! if the coaches, players and the rest of the team dun show us results and commitment.... how do u suppose we as supporters go and support u... u let us down countless times.. and now u lose u wanna push ur faults and errors to us?? MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!! 5-1, we showed the world we can...

I'm not mad cause we lose so embarassingly, BUT.. i'm mad cause the malaysian coaches and players inherited our MALAYSIA BOLEH spirit of pointing the finger at some1 else, other than themselves... MALAYSIA BOLEH shud be a positive force.. its seems we have more negative force than the good one... again..repeat after me.. MALAYSIA BOLEH!!! SAYA BANGGA JADI SEORANG ANAK MALAYSIA!!

May God give her a wonderful garden in Heaven...

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 23:56:19 GMT

This past few days... there was a case about a lil girl that went missing... it was believed that the mother left her unattended in the car to pay her parking ticket and came back to find her missing... she lodged a police report and also an MCA report.. whic the MCA sent over 1000 personnels out to stick posters and the sorts to help the mother find her child back... the mother is in amidst of a divorce case and has a bf now.. BUT recently... they found the lil girl dead... burned to char and body parts scattered around a few different places.. one a cemetry, a river bank, an apartment (if not mistaken)... WHO in THE HELL would do such an insane THING.. to a cute 3 yr old!!!!

Today.. the answer was out.. it was her own F*&^ing mother and the dog bf... the police considered the case solved with their arrest... so what more can i say... from what i read in the paper.. if she din kill her.. then its the bf who did and she helped her bf cover up the mess.. thats as good as committing the crime for me.. sigh... she is so damn cute the lil girl... if u dun wan her.. u might as well give her up to adoption... i bet alot of family wud want her... i for 1 wud immiediately Q up to adopt her.. May God have mercy on her and give her a wonderful garden where the butterflies and rabbits dance happily... no cheers for today...

A night in tHE AirPort~

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:57:09 GMT

Well.... i'm starting to have the feel of a wandering traveller... since last last week, i've been zipping in and out of palm oil estates, village roads of negri sembilan, then to chinese new villages (which is actually quite old) around melaka, then flew to east malaysia and visited sibu and sarikei... recently drove to road kill infested roads, highways of johor and now i'm spending the night in the airport... luckily... i have a power point (to plug in my laptop charger), my laptop hdd filled with (nop, not work) cantonese, english series. Now the only problem i face is going to the toilet.. cause no one will watch over my stuffs.. sigh...

My flight is at 710am.. now is jus 130am.. i've been here since 1130pm... no wonder they say always being a traveller is not a fun thing to do.. i can feel m energy being sapped... this morning i drove from JB to KL... then to my office... worked..actually just stared at the monitor.. then back home packed... dinner and left for the airport... i neeed so shut eyes.. but how can i sleep here... i dun wan waking u with all my babies gone.. i'm constantly looking around to count my begs and stuff... u can nvr be too precautious... later 11am i have an interview... i dun see me sleeping until after it... its actually a thrill.. now i get a chance to act like i'm some busy person... always on the go.. always have my trusty starbucks coffee at hand....

speaking about starbucks... i'm in coffee bean and i'm wearing a starbucks t-shirt.. no wonder when i ordered the guy was kinda annoyed.... ahah... he must have tot i'm some sort of competitor trying to test how good there things are... luckily i observed him all the way when he mixed my drink.. i not.. i might even get some "special" ingredients in it.. wahhahahah... well... tats it for now... i'll have some coffee and hope tat will jolt me some inspiration to write something nice later.. cheers~ wish me luck for the interview!!!

The fEar of stealing Bones~

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:17:02 GMT

The phrase stealing bone in malay is a very popular phrase amng malaysians..cause tats wat alot of employees do best.. be it civil servants o private sectors... stealing bone or in malay 'curi tulang' or in hokkien "liak chua' (catch snake).. means when its time to work, somehow u vanish from the office and be in particular place NOT doing work related jobs...

For instance... today was a boring day for me.. dunno wat to do..wanted to head down melaka but delayed it till wednesday... cause??? my manager isnt around and my supervisor care less about wat we are doing.. so i jus went out of the office and headed straight to sunway pyramid (shopping complex).. went to the book store and flip books...

But it seems tat every few minutes i'll turn my head and look around to see if my supervisor o any of my colleagues was there... hahaha... i planned to be in there an hour o MORE... but some how the unsafe feeling kept haunting me so i opt for lunch 1st... at mc d.. chose the sits furtherest away from the corridor and have my back against the crowds... which made things worse... i turned eery now and then to look at the crowds.. ahhaha..

dang.. i'm not good at doing this kinda things yet. mayb a few more trials..i'll get the hang of it and be a pro at running off from work and enjoy myself.. hahahhha... sigh..for the mean time..i guess its best for me to jus sit there and kuai kuai do my work..:p cheers~

ChilDhood FreN..

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:56:38 GMT

This is my second time writing tis long blog.. ISH!!! las one multiply siad.. FAILED to save... *&&^%%$#^(*_)&^$$#%.. i'm using xanga now instead.. hmph!!!!!!!!!!!

I was on my way home tonight... when suddenly, a childhood fren of mine came on the speakers... its been awhile since i've heard from him... i knew him since i was a kid...i met him thru Robin Hood the movie.. his name is Bryan and his family name is Adams... yeah, from then on we started our frenship... our conversation topic (well.. not really a conversation since his way of communicating is always single sided, he talks and u only listens.) was "Have u ever really loved a woman".

Bryan.A: To really love a woman, To understand her, You gotta know her deep inside, Hear every thought, See every dream, And give her wings when she wants to fly..

Me: er.. i think i got.. Ye..(Cudn't finish my sentence and he cuts me off and continues)

Bryan.A: And when you find yourself, Lying helpless in her arms, You know you really love a woman.

Me: Yes i constantly do, u kno... (gets cut off again)

Bryan.A: When you love a woman, You tell her that she’s really wanted, When you love a woman, You tell her that she’s the one.

Me: Got got got (learned my lesson, so i replied swift and to the point)

Bryan.A: She needs somebody, To tell her that it’s gonna last forever, So tell me have you ever really, Really really ever loved a woman.

Me: I see... is tat so~~~

Bryan.A: To really love a woman, Let her hold you, Do you know how she needs to be touched ?

Me: *cHEekY griN* Of Course I KNOW!!~ hhehehee

Bryan.A: You gotta breath her, Really taste her, To you can feel her in your blood, Then when you can see your unborn children in her eyes, You know you really love a woman..

Me: U mean i have to kill her, eat her and drink her blood to noe??? *gasp*(gasp caused talked to fast, needed air)

Bryan.A: When you love a woman, You tell her that she’s really wanted, When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s the one, She needs somebody, To tell her that you’ll always be together, So tell me have you ever really, Really really ever loved a woman...

Me: Y are u repeating urself????

*paused awhile*

Me: U ther.. (cut off)

Bryan.A: You got to give her some faith, Hold her tight, A little tenderness, You gotta treat her right

Me: i gave alot.. dun worry.

Bryan.A: She’ll be there for you, Taking good care of you, You really gotta love your woman..

Me: Ya, she did a good job on those..

Bryan.A: And when you find yourself, Lying helpless in her arms, You know you really love a woman, When you love a woman, You tell her that she’s really wanted, When you love a woman, You tell her that she’s the one, She needs somebody, To tell her that it’s gonna last forever

Me: Oi.. Y are U REPEATING AGAIn!!!

Bryan.A: So tell me have you ever really, Really really ever loved a woman

Me: Wat loved?!!~? still loving la!!!

Bryan.A: Just tell me have you ever really, Really really ever loved a woman

Me: I JUST ansWerEd U!!! were u listenIng??

Bryan.A: Just tell me have you ever really, Really really ever loved a woman

Me: =_=||| i'm being ignored... *hangs up*

hahahha.. well something i tot of when i was driving home.. soemthing fitting to put in my blog since i've been absent again.. been travelling alot lately.. off the highways and down to the small roads, towns and villages.. i might stay awhile longer with this job... get to see quite a lot of kampung life style.. haha.. well it wasnt me tat was doing all the driving so i guess its all right.. but if i were the one driving i might think of quiting even sooner.. ahhaha.. jk.. cheeRs~!~

i wan to be a VVIP!!!!!

Tue, 29 May 2007 14:02:38 GMT

Now... i've started working recently.. with a clinical equipment group.. well.. the job is nothing fancy.. it pays the bills tho, so can't complain much.. then there is the travelling .. yes.. alot of them.. need to travel las minute if any break down occurs.. ya.. i have a feeling i wud be boring.. but today showed me another side of my job... we went to a VERY FAMOUS heart hospital (a former high "menteri" stayed before RECENTLY), y cant i say it.. cause now a dyas the goverment is being strict about bloggers who try to hurt unity o other ppl's name.. ANYWAYS.. while we were handling one of the machines... the head of the lab came in huffing and puffing...

he paced from one machine to another with one blood sample.. and eventually he came towards our downed machine.. and said... when cna i expect it to work.. cause we have a very very important person waiting for the results... he showed us the name.. and to my suprise.. the sultan (king) of perak, DYMM Sultan Azhar Shah (forgive me if i spelled wrongly) was jus nex door at the VVIP room waiting for his results... WITH... all the hospital directors and head doctors was there to accompany him and they cant move away if he is still there.. and the docs had alot to attend to and was giving pressure towards the head of lab to quickly get things done.. sigh.. and being a royalty.. his blood sample was soooooooooooooooooo fastly processed..

SSOOOOO.. i wanna be a VVIP... but then again... the head of lab told us.. he doesnt wanna be a datuk (sir in british standard).. cause 1. too many ppl has that title, making it useless.. 2. the ceremony for the datukship is very very annoying... y?? cause he said 1 ful day from 7am to 7pm jus sit right there and well sit.. cant move abit and wait ur name to be called and walk.. tats jus the rehersal.. then the nex day also have to do the thing all over again~~ and if u wnana eat when the dinner starts.. u cant eat.. cause u ahve to wait for the sultan to come and eat.. and if u wanna leave u have to wait for baginda (him) to leave..

so.. hehehe.. i wanna BE VVIP!!!!!!!!!! cheers!~~

a hug... a kiss and Good bye all!~

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:24:31 GMT

Great... just great.. my last night with the buddies and i blow it by dozing off on my bed till 550am... i dunno is it because the medical check up i did earlier that drained most of me.. o was it jus plain tiredness.. i missed out my last MAFA Tower Defense and Dota session with them.... Champions LEague football (which chelsea won 1-0)..BUT... 730.. there will be a dim sum session.. heheh... still get to see them..

I can't imagine... never have i tot the days of hostel staying.. those home sickness feeling... wud end so soon... altho its been 5 yrs... to think of it.. i din felt it was long.. mayb during the process of studying... it was long.. but looking bac now... it wasn't... and i noe y... no, its not those books and notes tat made it shorter (it kinda made it longer)... it was the tears and laughter i had with everyone.. time flies at accelerated rate when u have company... even faster when its good company... as if.. time is jealous of us having a good time..

Its heartbreaking.. its like the day i left my secondary school all over again... tis timei can say i ahve a heavier heart.. not to say i'm not close to my secondary pals.. i am.. but this uni bunch is the ones when u have the "license" to roam.. to be free (actually jus doing crazy things and hope ur parents dun find out).. alot of activity was done with them.. done to me.. done to everybody else... there were disappointing times... but the fun, smiling and exciting times was abundant... but now..it all will end... i will have my short break and start going to another new university -- society.. where only the strong (doesnt mean physically) will survive... a ruthless, grey world... and a new chapter of my life will be written..

there is so much i want to say.. so much i wan to share... but its all jammed halfway at my throat or shud i say my brain... i think i will not ponder on this matter anymore.. its getting me down .. i need to pack.. cheers~ all.. wun be blogging much... cause i'm home...